Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
