i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
