Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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