Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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