I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I can't turn off my feet"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
