i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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