Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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