Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Randomize
