the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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