I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
