Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
