While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Let's get the cat blown out
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
