glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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