Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
