it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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