Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
