i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
