I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
