i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
