Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So. Much. Porn.
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