cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Found the puke drawer
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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