Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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