I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
