just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
