That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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