...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
