You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
