YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
