He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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