I love black thongs
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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