carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
