she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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