I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
