after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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