Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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