I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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