had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
