Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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