he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
