At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
