Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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