we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
