This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
