I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Who died my cat blue again?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize