This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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