All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
