this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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