Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
