i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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