I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
