3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
