Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
