whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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