i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
